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Haiti 2014 {Traveling}
9 years ago
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Supposedly a true story...Mr. Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to Louisiana. He immediately sent an e-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer (JenJohnson@AOL.com). Unfortunately, he forgot his wife's exact e-mail address and the e-mail ended up going to a Mrs.Joan Johnson (JJohnson@AOL.com) of New Jersey, the wife of a preacher who had just passed away. The preacher's wife took one look at the e-mail and promptly fainted.
When she was finally revived by her daughter, she nervously pointed to the message, which read: "Arrived safely, but it sure is hot down here."
"Barney"A four year old was at the pediatrician for a check up. As the doctor looked down her ears with an otoscope, he asked, "Do you think I'll find Big Bird in here?" The little girl stayed silent. Next, the doctor took a tongue depressor and looked down her throat. He asked, "Do you think I'll find the Cookie Monster down there?" Again, the little girl was silent. Then the doctor put a stethoscope to her chest. As he listened to her heart beat, he asked, "Do you think I'll hear Barney in there?" "Oh, no!" the little girl replied. "Jesus is in my heart. Barney's on my underpants."
When she was finally revived by her daughter, she nervously pointed to the message, which read: "Arrived safely, but it sure is hot down here."
"Barney"A four year old was at the pediatrician for a check up. As the doctor looked down her ears with an otoscope, he asked, "Do you think I'll find Big Bird in here?" The little girl stayed silent. Next, the doctor took a tongue depressor and looked down her throat. He asked, "Do you think I'll find the Cookie Monster down there?" Again, the little girl was silent. Then the doctor put a stethoscope to her chest. As he listened to her heart beat, he asked, "Do you think I'll hear Barney in there?" "Oh, no!" the little girl replied. "Jesus is in my heart. Barney's on my underpants."
Great truths from small children
Great Truths from Small Children
No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.If your sister hits you, don't hit her back.They always catch the second person.Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.You can't trust dogs to watch your food.Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.School lunches stick to the wall.You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma's lap.It's hard to unlearn a bad word.Ask Why until you understand.It's easier to see the mistakes on someone else's paper.A pencil without an eraser may as well just be a pen.It's only fun to play school when you're the teacher.Sometimes the best one in the play has the fewest lines.Twelve is a lot older than eight.Sometimes your best move is blocked by your own checkers.Some nights it's not worth fighting over who gets the top bunk.Don't expect your friends to be as excited about your "100" as you are.Don't say that the "Last One is a Rotten Egg" unless you're absolutely sure there's a slow kid behind you.If you don't like the birthday girl, don't go to the party.Crawling still gets you there.If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.Your room gets smaller as you get bigger.You can't start over just because you're losing the game When you're dressed up like a princess, it's easier to act like one.If a tree had apples last year, don't expect pears this year.One drop of black paint from the brush clouds the whole cup of water.You can't be everyone's best friend.A snow day is more fun than a vacation day.All libraries smell the same.Say grace.If you want someone to listen to you, whisper it.Sometimes you have to take the test before you've finished studying.Silence can be an answer.Ask where things come from.If you throw a ball at someone, they'll probably throw it back.Don't nod on the phone.
From: http://louisvilleemmaus.com/jokes2.html
No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.If your sister hits you, don't hit her back.They always catch the second person.Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.You can't trust dogs to watch your food.Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.School lunches stick to the wall.You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma's lap.It's hard to unlearn a bad word.Ask Why until you understand.It's easier to see the mistakes on someone else's paper.A pencil without an eraser may as well just be a pen.It's only fun to play school when you're the teacher.Sometimes the best one in the play has the fewest lines.Twelve is a lot older than eight.Sometimes your best move is blocked by your own checkers.Some nights it's not worth fighting over who gets the top bunk.Don't expect your friends to be as excited about your "100" as you are.Don't say that the "Last One is a Rotten Egg" unless you're absolutely sure there's a slow kid behind you.If you don't like the birthday girl, don't go to the party.Crawling still gets you there.If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.Your room gets smaller as you get bigger.You can't start over just because you're losing the game When you're dressed up like a princess, it's easier to act like one.If a tree had apples last year, don't expect pears this year.One drop of black paint from the brush clouds the whole cup of water.You can't be everyone's best friend.A snow day is more fun than a vacation day.All libraries smell the same.Say grace.If you want someone to listen to you, whisper it.Sometimes you have to take the test before you've finished studying.Silence can be an answer.Ask where things come from.If you throw a ball at someone, they'll probably throw it back.Don't nod on the phone.
From: http://louisvilleemmaus.com/jokes2.html
Other jokes...
A child came home from Sunday School and told his mother that he had learned a new song about a cross-eyed bear named Gladly. It took his mother a while before she realized that the hymn was really "Gladly The Cross I'd Bear."
A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE:
"Doctor, I have an ear ache."2000 BC - "Here, eat this root."1000 BC - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."1850 AD - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."1940 AD - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."1985 AD - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."2000 AD - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice,"Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."
Locked Car Door
A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication. She got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys in the car.
She didn't know what to do, so she called home and told the baby sitter what had happened. The baby sitter told her that her the fever was getting worse. She said, "You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door."
The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been thrown down on the ground, possibly by someone else who at some time or other had locked their keys in their car. Then she looked at the hanger and said, "I don't know how to use this."
So she bowed her head and asked God to send her some help. Within five minutes an old rusty car pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head. The woman thought, "This is what you sent to help me?" But, she was desperate, so she was also very thankful.
The man got out of his car and asked her if he could help. She said, "Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"
He said, "Sure". He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car was opened. She hugged the man and through her tears she said, "Thank You So Much! You are a very nice man."
The man replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison today. I was in prison for car theft and have only been out for about an hour."
The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out loud, "Oh, Thank you God! You even sent me a Professional!"
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of religious service when she was startled by an intruder. As she caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables, she yelled, "Stop - Acts 2:38!" (..turn from your sin...) The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.
As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, "Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you."
"Scripture?" replied the burglar, "She said she had an AXE and two 38's!"
Mahatma Gandhi was quite a spiritual person. He walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard.
Even when he was not on a hunger strike, he didn't eat much. Over time he became quite thin and frail. Furthermore, due to his diet, he wound up with very bad breath. Therefore he came to be known as a.....
"Super calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis."
"A Little Mouse At The Pearly Gates"
A little mouse died and went to the Pearly Gates where St. Peter met him and invited to come in, but the mouse told him he wanted to look around first. St Peter said that was okay with him. After looking around the mouse approached St. Peter and told him he would like to stay but it is too big there and he would get tired running around all day. St. Peter thought for awhile and said he had just the thing for him, a pair of roller skates so the mouse decided to stay. Soon a cat died and went to the Pearly Gates where St. Peter met him and invited him in also, the cat wanted to look around too. After spotting the mouse on roller skates the cat said, "Boy oh boy, you have meals on wheels I will stay."
From:http://louisvilleemmaus.com/jokes2.html
A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE:
"Doctor, I have an ear ache."2000 BC - "Here, eat this root."1000 BC - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."1850 AD - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."1940 AD - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."1985 AD - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."2000 AD - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice,"Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."
Locked Car Door
A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication. She got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys in the car.
She didn't know what to do, so she called home and told the baby sitter what had happened. The baby sitter told her that her the fever was getting worse. She said, "You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door."
The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been thrown down on the ground, possibly by someone else who at some time or other had locked their keys in their car. Then she looked at the hanger and said, "I don't know how to use this."
So she bowed her head and asked God to send her some help. Within five minutes an old rusty car pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head. The woman thought, "This is what you sent to help me?" But, she was desperate, so she was also very thankful.
The man got out of his car and asked her if he could help. She said, "Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"
He said, "Sure". He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car was opened. She hugged the man and through her tears she said, "Thank You So Much! You are a very nice man."
The man replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison today. I was in prison for car theft and have only been out for about an hour."
The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out loud, "Oh, Thank you God! You even sent me a Professional!"
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of religious service when she was startled by an intruder. As she caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables, she yelled, "Stop - Acts 2:38!" (..turn from your sin...) The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.
As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, "Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you."
"Scripture?" replied the burglar, "She said she had an AXE and two 38's!"
Mahatma Gandhi was quite a spiritual person. He walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard.
Even when he was not on a hunger strike, he didn't eat much. Over time he became quite thin and frail. Furthermore, due to his diet, he wound up with very bad breath. Therefore he came to be known as a.....
"Super calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis."
"A Little Mouse At The Pearly Gates"
A little mouse died and went to the Pearly Gates where St. Peter met him and invited to come in, but the mouse told him he wanted to look around first. St Peter said that was okay with him. After looking around the mouse approached St. Peter and told him he would like to stay but it is too big there and he would get tired running around all day. St. Peter thought for awhile and said he had just the thing for him, a pair of roller skates so the mouse decided to stay. Soon a cat died and went to the Pearly Gates where St. Peter met him and invited him in also, the cat wanted to look around too. After spotting the mouse on roller skates the cat said, "Boy oh boy, you have meals on wheels I will stay."
From:http://louisvilleemmaus.com/jokes2.html
Monday, May 25, 2009
Season 5
Tonight we are watching Season 5 on Jon and Kate plus 8.
The sextuplets turned 5.
Today was a marathon of Jon and Kate.
The sextuplets turned 5.
Today was a marathon of Jon and Kate.
Georgia...
This Saturday we are going to Georgia to see our grandparents.
We will leave early on Saturday morning and come back on Sunday afternoon.
We will leave early on Saturday morning and come back on Sunday afternoon.
Fishing
The boys went fishing today.
Mom and I stayed home b/c my mom is sick. ( poor mom!)
They didn't catch any thing though.
Mom and I stayed home b/c my mom is sick. ( poor mom!)
They didn't catch any thing though.
Caleb's B-day
Today was Caleb's b-day!
He turned 10.
He got a havoc heli ( a helicopter).
We went to Captain D's for supper.
We haved Chocolate cake, chocolate icing and chocolate ice-cream.
It was CHOCOLATE WORLD!!!!
He turned 10.
He got a havoc heli ( a helicopter).
We went to Captain D's for supper.
We haved Chocolate cake, chocolate icing and chocolate ice-cream.
It was CHOCOLATE WORLD!!!!
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