Biscuits

Tonight we are going to go to see the Biscuits game.
( if it doesn't get rained out!)
We were going to go to Emerald Falls to do some putt putt ,BUT it just had to rain!
We get free tickets to the Biscuits b/c my dad's work is providing the tickets!
Cool!

25 reasons

25 REASONS WHY I LOVE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . 'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.'
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL . 'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. ' Because I said so, that's why.'
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGI C . 'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'
7. My mother taught me IRONY 'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'
8. My mother taught me about the science o f OSMOSIS. 'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM . 'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?'
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER . 'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE . 'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 'Stop acting like your father!
' 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. 'Just wait until we get home.'
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING . 'You are going to get it when you get home!'
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.'
19. My mother taught me ESP . 'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'
20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 'When that lawn mower cuts off your foot, don't come running to me.'
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT . 'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.
' 22. My mother taught me GENETICS.'You're just like your father.'
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?
' 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE 'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.'

Bible Humor

A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!" His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?" The son replied, "I do know!" "Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?" "That's easy, Daddy..." the young boy replied excitedly,? It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.' (This one is my favorite)
There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country. "Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk. "Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady .
"Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," And there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, its morning."
A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses." When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."
There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his Congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is it's still out there in your pockets."
While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign... "Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust."
A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, "Boys and girls, what do we know about God?" A hand shot up in the air.. "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy. "Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked. "You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven... "
A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump. "Reverend," said the young man, "I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip." The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business." People want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and the center of attention.
Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about. The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt." Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about. He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming."
The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play. "Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But, you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances." During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up." At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star Spangled Banner." And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!
Give me a sense of humor, Lord, Give me the grace to see a joke, To get some humor out of life, And pass it on to other folk

Trip to Georgia.....

We just got back from Georgia. We were visiting our grandparents and Great aunts and uncles this weekend.
Last night we went out to eat with everyone. Then we went to Aunt Debbie's house for pineapple cake and coconut cake. Aunt Debbie and Uncle Mac have a very cute (and VERY Energetic!) dog named J.R. ( she's a jack russell terrier).
This morning we went to church with them too.
We had a LOT of fun, but we're glad to be home!!!

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Supposedly a true story...Mr. Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to Louisiana. He immediately sent an e-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer (JenJohnson@AOL.com). Unfortunately, he forgot his wife's exact e-mail address and the e-mail ended up going to a Mrs.Joan Johnson (JJohnson@AOL.com) of New Jersey, the wife of a preacher who had just passed away. The preacher's wife took one look at the e-mail and promptly fainted.
When she was finally revived by her daughter, she nervously pointed to the message, which read: "Arrived safely, but it sure is hot down here."
"Barney"A four year old was at the pediatrician for a check up. As the doctor looked down her ears with an otoscope, he asked, "Do you think I'll find Big Bird in here?" The little girl stayed silent. Next, the doctor took a tongue depressor and looked down her throat. He asked, "Do you think I'll find the Cookie Monster down there?" Again, the little girl was silent. Then the doctor put a stethoscope to her chest. As he listened to her heart beat, he asked, "Do you think I'll hear Barney in there?" "Oh, no!" the little girl replied. "Jesus is in my heart. Barney's on my underpants."

Great truths from small children

Great Truths from Small Children
No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.If your sister hits you, don't hit her back.They always catch the second person.Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.You can't trust dogs to watch your food.Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.School lunches stick to the wall.You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma's lap.It's hard to unlearn a bad word.Ask Why until you understand.It's easier to see the mistakes on someone else's paper.A pencil without an eraser may as well just be a pen.It's only fun to play school when you're the teacher.Sometimes the best one in the play has the fewest lines.Twelve is a lot older than eight.Sometimes your best move is blocked by your own checkers.Some nights it's not worth fighting over who gets the top bunk.Don't expect your friends to be as excited about your "100" as you are.Don't say that the "Last One is a Rotten Egg" unless you're absolutely sure there's a slow kid behind you.If you don't like the birthday girl, don't go to the party.Crawling still gets you there.If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.Your room gets smaller as you get bigger.You can't start over just because you're losing the game When you're dressed up like a princess, it's easier to act like one.If a tree had apples last year, don't expect pears this year.One drop of black paint from the brush clouds the whole cup of water.You can't be everyone's best friend.A snow day is more fun than a vacation day.All libraries smell the same.Say grace.If you want someone to listen to you, whisper it.Sometimes you have to take the test before you've finished studying.Silence can be an answer.Ask where things come from.If you throw a ball at someone, they'll probably throw it back.Don't nod on the phone.
From: http://louisvilleemmaus.com/jokes2.html